ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
