Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
