Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
