What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm both gender and math confused
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
