i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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