In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
