Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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