somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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