piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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