I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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