How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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