I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
