Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
