then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
