we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
