you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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