No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
