shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
