Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Green mimosas i think yes
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
