I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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