Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
