His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
