***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015