There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
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you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
they're like a gay fantastic four
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Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night