Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again