I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just pee around me
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.