I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend