so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
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You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
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There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement