Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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