You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
