sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
