Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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