I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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