woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
