I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Randomize
