in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
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I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
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He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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