You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's blow job season.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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