I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
