just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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