Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
