She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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