Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
