I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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