used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
