To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
