dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
