i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
