You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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