Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
