bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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