Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
