i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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