Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just cropdusted the office
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize