ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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