Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
