we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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