Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
