This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
