So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
