No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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