Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
