from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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