My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
