i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
