I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
