Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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