...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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