I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
