She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
