I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
