Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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