You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
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